It seems I have been having a rather ugly attitude at home the last week or so.... this also just so happens to be the time that my husband came home from vacation. He thinks it has to do with him, it does not have anything to do with him.... except that he has been having to put up with my 'bitchiness'. Poor wonderful husband. I feel extremely upset about this and that just makes me more angry.
I have been having a problem with this older man at work. I am a short white female and he is an older(much older) black man that is a bit taller than I am. He feels that because he is a man and older he should get respect from me... I do not think that. He has done nothing to deserve my respect and day in and day out he continues to demonstrate that he does not deserve any respect from almost no one. At work he talks about God and how I would be a better person if I didn't speak the way I do. Now, don't get me wrong I love God and I have no problem with a few things here and there being said about what you do or do not believe in, but Please! do not make me listen to an hour of you preach to me about how I should talk to my father and love him when he has never bothered to be in my life or love me or anything like that. I tried for 20 + years to 'earn' his love when I should have had it from the start, well I have given up on the 'love' and him. I no longer care about any of him... and this fool tells me how bad of a person I am because I do not continue to try and put myself through the pain and heart ache of having him belittle me at every turn. Well, anyway. I really do not like this man at work.... and I have yet to learn how to separate work and home just yet. (I should maybe buy a book on that, because self teaching that is not working).
Everyday it is something more whit this man... he even went as far to stop saying 'God bless you' when I would sneeze; come on, really? He makes it a point to say it to others and not to say it to me. When I brought up that my dog has cancer and that it might not be good, he didn't have anything to say to that. My other work-mate however said a prayer with me in front of him.
Well, my attitude has been just so bad because this man that I am speaking of didn't become my real work-mate until three weeks before my husband came back from vacation and He has only been home now for two weeks. So me being by myself dealing with the stress of this person at work was one thing. Now with my husband home and me staying up an extra 3 hours every night has really taken its toll on me and my attitude.
I just want to say: Husband, I love you more than anything and I am trying to separate work and home and not bring that stress home to you. I am so happy you are home and that we get to spend our time together. I love you. I am faithful and loving to you, now and always. I get an attitude sometimes more often now than not but I promise that I am trying to do better. I am even trying to not let that person get on my nerves and Husband, I am trying so hard to be better at keeping my attitude in check. I am not mad at you or upset with you; You are wonderful and I am blessed to have you in my life and I am amazed that I have been blessed so much to have you as my husband. I could never ask for anything more as long as I have you in my life. You are my best friend, my lover, my partner, my husband, my boyfriend, my fashion coordinator, cooking instructor, My Everything! I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
Love always and forever,
Your not so wonderful Wife
